This Post Is Not About Twitter; Focuses on Metro Inefficacy

Some of my friends aren’t totally sold on Twitter yet, so one of the points I made in support of the medium’s efficacy is the @metroopensdoors account, which tweets updates on the Metro’s status. This is a very useful tool, but here’s the thing: the only reason it’s at all useful is because the Metro is a decrepit piece of shit. Seriously, sometimes I wonder if the Metro isn’t actually connected to Detroit. Let’s examine only Red Line tweets over the past 24 hours or so.

Note:  I’ve inserted rough times in brackets.

Red Line: Expect delays in both directions due to an earlier train malfunction at Metro Center station that has been resolved.

Red Line: Trains are sharing the same track between Judiciary Square and Farragut North due to a train experiencing mechanical difficulties

Red Line: Expect delays to Glenmont due to an earlier train malfunction at Van Ness station that has been resolved.

Red Line: Expect delays in both directions due to an earlier train malfunction at Van Ness station that has been resolved.

Red Line: Expect delays to Shady Grove due to an earlier train malfunction at Van Ness station that has been resolved.

Red Line: Expect delays to Shady Grove due a train experiencing mechanical difficulties at Van Ness station.

Red Line: Disruption cleared.

Red Line: Expect delays to Shady Grove due to an earlier train malfunction at White Flint that has been resolved.

Red Line: Expect delays to Shady Grove due to a train experiencing mechanical difficulties at White Flint station.

Red Line: Trains are sharing the same track between New York Avenue and Rhode Island Avenue stations due to scheduled track maintenance. Exp

Due to some conflagration of divine intervention and blind luck, the Red Line managed to be trouble free during today’s morning commute hours, but as you can see, basically had some form of problem for roughly all of its useful time thereafter and note also, that this generously excludes a number of problems on the Orange/Blue lines. I mean, why doesn’t the Metro just save us all the time and just let us know when it is working? If a person was this unreliable, you’d be right to wonder if they had a crippling heroin addiction.

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