A friend of mine pointed me to this article at the Guardian where a bunch of guys outline their perfect woman. By far the funniest is the first, but I was piqued by this paragraph:
Also, I want a woman who is prepared to admit that what she wants from a man is a big c*** and a lot of money. I am fed up with women always claiming that what they find most sexy is a sense of humour. Because it isn’t true. I know this because I am hilarious. Way more funny than most of the slack-arsed, car-obsessed, office wonk baldies you’ll meet in a wine bar on a Friday night, and yet I practically never get laid. If it were true that women are turned on by a man who makes them laugh, Woody Allen wouldn’t have had to marry his own daughter.
Look, it’s hardly groundbreaking to suggest that being funny doesn’t quite cut it, but the Woody Allen punchline is by far one of the more tired jokes about the funny-guy-who-never-gets-laid routine. Woody Allen is “nebbishy” incarnate, and furthermore, has literally made a career making light of his troubles with the fairer sex. Perhaps more problematically, and certainly tragically, most Americans probably consider Woody Allen less funny than Jeff Foxworthy.
Anyway, the fact is that like many things, it’s a question of balance. My guess is that if you lined up John Stewart, Dave Chapelle, and Vince Vuaghn, there isn’t a woman on the planet who wouldn’t at least sleep with one of them.