Via Andrew Sullivan’s readers, it turns out Sarah Palin’s children may not, in fact, be named after characters on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They mostly seem pretty random; Willow and Bristol are places in Alaska, Piper is an aircraft, Trig is for a family member, and Track is named after the place of conception. Just in case that didn’t sink in, Track is named after the place of conception. Now, this begs the question: Were Willow and Bristol similarly named? Are their middle names “Holliday Inn Express”? Further, was Piper conceived on an airplane? And lastly, was Trig conceived on a family member? These are things America needs to know.