Don’t Mess With Texas, They’ll Shoot

The Harrold Independent School District, a system of about 110 students 150 miles northwest of Fort Worth, will allow teachers to bring concealed hand-guns to school this fall in an apparent precaution against school shootings.

“We have a lock-down situation, we have cameras, but the question we had to answer is, ‘What if somebody gets in? What are we going to do?” [said district superintendent, David Thweatt]. “It’s just common sense.”

Sure, I mean, what could possibly go wrong with having more guns in schools? This is really quite a bit like the argument that the best way to combat terrorism is by invading other countries at random, even though it’s U.S. foreign policy that breeds anti-U.S. terror in the first place.

It’s times like these that make me wish the Texas Secession movement were something more legitimate. You know, as bad a rap as Jersey gets, there really aren’t enough people talking about Texas. Wouldn’t it be great if Roger Clemens was from another country?

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