Chinese Gymnasts Apparently 16 According to Unbiased Chinese Government

ESPN expounds on this business about the the obviously shady ages of the female Chinese gymnasts.

In an interview with The Associated Press, [Chinese coach] Lu [Shenzhen] said Asian gymnasts are naturally smaller than their American and European rivals.

“At this competition, the Japanese gymnasts were just as small as the Chinese,” he said. “Chinese competitors have for years all been small. It is not just this time. It is a question of race. European and American athletes are all powerful, very robust. But Chinese athletes cannot be like that. They are by nature that small.”

In my experience, the size thing is true. I’ve been to China, and at 6’1″, I was a monster. (It’s worth noting for all the ladies out there that I’m currently a more “robust” 6’2″, but that’s neither here nor there.) The problem isn’t that they’re small, it’s that they have they facial maturity of fetuses. Look at that!

Anyway, they assure us that the documents produced by the PRC are totally legitimate, because shit, what would the Chinese government have to lose?

“Surely it’s not possible that these documents are still not sufficient proof of her birthdate?” Lu asked. “The passports were issued by the Chinese Foreign Ministry. The identity card was issued by China’s Ministry of Public Security. If these valid documents are not enough to clarify this problem, then what will you believe?

Well certainly, not the internet…

“If you trust every Web site but not a government…,” [Lu] said. “There are so many Web sites, so much hearsay. These are not official. It is possible that all news on the Internet is accurate?”

At least he didn’t go so far as to reprise the tired joke of bloggers playing Dungeons & Dragons, but the Chinese trying to impugn the integrity of the internet is not so much the pot calling the kettle black as much as it is the pot calling the kettle a cooking instrument.

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