Department of the Obvious

In a totally straight-faced article at the Politico, Kenneth Vogel and Matthew Lindsey report that owners of sports teams have overwhelmingly donated to John McCain. ZOMG! Billionaires are supporting the Republican candidate? Get the fuck out of town!

To opine briefly on this subject, I’m actually cool with Republicans who openly admit to voting with their wallets. It’s at least honest, and it’s certainly within anyone’s right to protect that which they have rightfully (if in some cases, luckily) earned. Dogmatic and relentless advocacy of supply-side economics as primarily a plan for helping guarantee American prosperity however, is like listening to that one guy everyone knows to be gay talk about women. That is, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, and half-hearted, transparent utterances suggesting otherwise just make life difficult for other people.

For example, if you’re gay, you know you’re gay, and you marry a woman, you could totally wind up fucking up her life, not to mention your kids who will wonder why their parents don’t love each other. In turn, these kids will be epically damaged, and the cycle will continue. Similarly, if you believe that you shouldn’t pay more in taxes because you don’t believe the government has a right to engage in redistributional policies, then just come right out and say it. When you start talking about supply side economics as inherently redistributional when it’s clearly and demonstrably more beneficial to the wealthy, that’s the sort of thing that gets people voting for the wrong reasons, and before you know it, we wind up in a cluster fuck like Iraq.

NB: I am not suggesting that closeted gays are actually inconsiderate. The world is a complicated and hostile place, and I’m sure that coming out requires no insignificant amount of courage. In the context of this post, it’s a joke. Picture a stand-up comedian, only less funny, on a blog that less than 100 people read.

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