Future Marketers of America Take Note

Many times marketers are confronted with a difficult problem: how to get people unlike themselves excited about a product. Inherent in this conundrum is the tendency to project your own desire and tastes on to those of other people, often resulting in some horrible marketing strategies. Or in the case of a silly ploy I saw this morning getting off the metro, projecting your own tastes on to another species, who doesn’t even have purchasing power. Of course, I’m talking about handing out free samples of organic pet food.

Fine, it’s probably safe to assume that because organic foods have grown in popularity for humans, and humans control the diets of their pets, that there would be a corresponding rise in demand for organic pet foods. (And for what it’s worth, pets have been eating organic for years. My dog for example, had such an appetite for organics that he’d eat shit off the grass. Talk about straight from the source.) So I get why they’re making the product; I just think it’s stupid and people who buy it should reexamine their priorities, but whatever.

But why would you indiscriminately give out samples of organic mother fucking dog food to people going to work?

What the hell am I going to do with it? Try it myself?

Mmm. This really is superior dog food. I love the texture, it reminds me of when I threw-up Ruth’s Chris.

Am I supposed to give it to the dog and see what it thinks?

Oh, here you go Roscoe, why don’t you try this organic dog food and let me know what you think? When you’re all set with that, we can also do taste tests with garbage, shit, your own vomit, and chicken bones.

Even if I did like the product, why not give it out at a place where you can buy this stuff? Whole Foods? PetCo? Anywhere other than a metro stop during rush hour? I mean Jesus, who came up with this idea?

Look, I work at a PR firm, so I know a thing or two about canned marketing tactics, but they don’t usually make it out of brainstorm. Next time you’re going to think about marketing a product, remember that humans don’t eat dog food.

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