Esquire Should Be Disbarred

So now I think I have a better understanding of why Esquire would print such rubbish or why it’s impossible to find feature stories on their website: because they are really dumb.

US readers of Esquire are soon to be exposed to the publishing industry’s latest attempt at re-inventing itself: a magazine with a flashing cover.

Mr Granger [Esquire’s Editor-In-Chief] said the idea for putting electronic components in a magazine was borne out of a frustration with the industry’s lack of progress. “Magazine have basically looked the same for 150 years,” he said.

There’s some truth to that, I suppose. Magazine’s really have looked the same for the last 150 years, except for the past decade, when they’ve been able to go online and you know, completely change the way they look. Thankfully, the always anonymous experts agree.

Publishing experts dismissed the idea as a gimmick, however, saying that the experience would be “very poor” in comparison with using a well-designed website.

Yeah, like actually offering real content on their website. But I think this quote from Esquire‘s editor-in-chief, referring to the byzantine manufacturing process involved, pretty much sums the whole thing up.

“We are trying to combine a 21st-century technology with a 19th-century manufacturing process,” Mr Granger said. The new cover will only be inserted in 100,000 magazines, despite Esquire having a circulation circulation of 720,000. An ad on the inside front cover for Ford, the motor company, will also take advantage of the display.

Really, any time you’re trying to combine “21st-century technology” (and for argument’s sake, blinking lights are) with a 19th-century technology, it’s probably a bad idea. Is it that hard to just recognize that you have to get with the times? I mean, why not stick a jet turbine 18 inches into a horse’s ass? Sure, cars might be a better option, but the horse is really due for an update.

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