White (Trash) Wedding

I’ve now been sent this link detailing the Waffle House wedding of two hillbillies, “Bubba” Mathis and Pamela Christian, in Dacula, Georgia by a few people. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend the slide show at the bottom of the page. Needless to say there are lots of cigarettes, a few too many sneakers, and a wedding ring that looks like it was bought at a rest stop.

Now everybody, including me, has gotten a pretty good laugh at the expense of these yokels, but I think the real mystery is why they’d want to get married at work. The article claims they had always wanted to get married on their Independence Day anniversary, and the logistics dictated that work was the only option. Really? You couldn’t, you know, go down the road to the church or old age home, or even an open field? I mean shit, who gets married at work — especially when it’s a Waffle House?

Also, wouldn’t you just kill to be a fly on the wall that fateful Independence Day when Bubba and Pamela sealed the deal?

Amid the snap, crackle, and pop of bottle rockets and M80s purchased by an illegal immigrant at South of the Border, Pamela and Bubba embraced, their mentholated tongues clumsily imitating a drunken thumb wrestling match. It was not long before the rear axle bucked with the rhythmic integrity of a limp body tumbling down a flight of stairs. America the beautiful, indeed.

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