CNN: Bold faced liars

Leave it to CNN, the most trusted name in news, to list several strategies for women to ensure they don’t get asked out on a second date. This, in the day and age of “Photoshop, spell check and the Internet”, is an apparently pressing concern for husband hunting crazies on dating sites most women. Here are the suggestions:

1. “Forget” your wallet

2. Cry

3. Inappropriate disclosure of the personal kind

4. Inappropriate disclosure of the medical kind

5. Perplexing puppetry (the suggestion is a hand puppet?!?)

5. EXcessive Ex talk

a.) Still Smitten

b.) Still Smiting (spiting would be a better word, personally)

But wait, it gets better.

If, after all this, your dude sticks around, it’s time to reassess –because either you’re totally irresistible, he’s mentally ill, or he’s actually turned out to be a total catch. (Perhaps a little of all three.) In any case, you might want to give him a second chance. And a second date.

Of course, this is complete bullshit. As we all know, any man who sits through and pays for a dinner where a woman cries, talks about her exes, and reveals personal information will soon be so ignominiously ensconced in the “friend zone”, there will be literally no hope for escape short of hara-kiri.

Most trusted name in news, please.


2 Responses to “CNN: Bold faced liars”

  1. Amy Says:

    This sounds eerily familar. I think they made a movie about this…something about losing a guy in a few days?

  2. Um, can we talk about this? Says:

    […] really not sure what I’d do without CNN. In the past they’ve penned helpful guides on how to avoid second dates, and what can I say? They continue to step up their game, now by shilling “value-added” […]

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